Apocalypse-averting motivation

When a friend asks another friend for the motivation to eschew calendar listings, start on cover letters and begin work on quality stories in her spare time, and that friend responds with this speech, referencing "24," the top-rated television show featuring ruggedly handsome Kiefer Sutherland as CIA operative Jack Bauer, let me tell you that a weapons of mass destruction-like motivation sets in, yes indeed.

"OK, here's your main problem: You’re clearly missing the obvious question. When faced with this kind of situation, you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself…

…what would Jack Bauer do?

If CTU command stuck Jack Bauer in a desk and said, “Here, Jack, go ahead and write up this calendar listing for Beth Shalom’s bake sale,” do you think he would do it? HELLS no.

I’ll TELL you what Jack Bauer would do. Jack Bauer is a FIELD OPERATIVE. He’d wait ‘til his boss wasn’t looking, throw his hoodie over his head and move straight for the door all casual-like, and maybe do some ninja shit to the assistant editor if she tries to stop him on the way out the fuckin’ door. When Jack Bauer’s boss finally got wind of what he’d done and called him on his cell phone asking him WHAT exactly he thought he was doing, Jack Bauer would say, “I don’t have time to discuss this with you, THERE ARE MILLIONS OF LIVES AT STAKE,” punctuating the end of the conversation with the CLAP of his cell phone shutting.

What would Jack Bauer do? He’d take matters into his own hands and make that shit happen. He’d report on a kick-ass story AND write a damn cover letter before the “beep-shoomp-beep-shoomp-beep-shoomp-beep-shoomp” signaling the end of the first commercial break. You can do this. Harness your inner Jack Bauer.


Boo-yah."